Big Bertha

Pizza!!!

2008-09-24T01:08:42Z

Today, I went out into the yard to wait for Pa to come home.

I heard a car.

I heard someone get out of the car.

I heard the gate.

I smelled Pizza!

PIZZA GUY!!!

I was already excited... then I SAW!!!

THE PIZZA GUY WAS PA!!!

Pa's home! He brought PIZZA from work!!

OH pizza pizza pizza...

How I love thee.

I would count the ways, but I am too busy counting how many slices are going onto Dad's plate.

He's dieting you know.

I think he only needs three of those slices.

Maybe two.

I will eat the others.

I can take this hit for the family's betterment, you know.

I will take the hit for Dad.

And Pa.

How many slices could fit in my bowl, do you think??

I do not get to find out. :(

But I DO get a slice all to myself!!

PIZZA!!

Behold, I have invented the pizza-dance.

All about Bertha!

2008-07-04T21:20:08Z

I thought I would post some links, for those who wanted to know stuff! They're behind the cut, so it doesn't spam yer friends list- links to things like my Dogster page, and the place that sells my favourite equipment!

Don't forget to go get YOUR pup (or kitty) their free Greenies (or greenies kitty treats)! They're nom-i-licious!

I have a Dogster page!! If you have pets, you should get one too! (there is also a 'Catster' for cat peoples!)

http://www.dogster.com/dogs/29088

You can read a little about my housemates at their catster page:

http://www.catster.com/cats/85311
http://www.catster.com/cats/85301
http://www.catster.com/cats/85307

This is my favourite company EVER, for doggie-stuff!

www.sitstay.com

the equipment I use, are a Blue service dog vest, and patches on each side- one that says "please don't pet me, I am working" and a smaller one under it that says "Service Dog" under it, so people know I am not like, a POLICE dog or anything! and not a PET-pet...

Here's links to that stuff, if you're curious about them!

http://www.sitstay.com/dog/supplies/servlet/product_10001_10001_56101_-1_Service+Dog+Vest%2C+Blue_20452_20453_

http://www.sitstay.com/dog/supplies/servlet/product_10001_10001_40255_-1_Please+Don%27t+Pet+Patch_20452_20454_

http://www.sitstay.com/dog/supplies/servlet/product_10001_10001_40260_-1_Service+Dog+Patch%2C+Crescent_20452_20454_

This is my FAVOURITE treat in the world- they're called "Texas Toothpicks" and they are the tipc of cow-tails, all roasted till they're crunchy! Nom Nom NOM! Dad calls them 'piggy tails' tpo me, because when he used to buy them, he thought they were pig tails! He buys mine at the local kennel most of the time, but here is a place that carries them in case you want to buy some for YOUR poochie, and don't know where else to find them:

http://www.sitstay.com/dog/supplies/servlet/product_10001_10001_39881_-1_Texas+Toothpicks_13285_13919_

Of course, like almost every other doggie, I LOVE Greenies! You can get a FREE Greenie, if you go over to their website! Dogs all over the world agree with BIG BERTHA! Greenies are sooooo yummy!

http://www.greenies.com/en_US/default.aspx

Monies is Good.

2008-07-02T09:00:21Z

It is that time again. I has to get new gear. :P

Every now and again, my stuff wears out. I gots to buy it new sometimes.

I needs a new vest, like in my picture up there- Dad is going to raise some money for it, by posting here, and putting things up on ebay or etsy. (he will crosspost to his blog too, of course!)

One of the things Dad can sell to fund my new vest, is MY PAINTINGS!! (YAY!)

You can read all about how I make the paintings here on my blog- and see some examples. They're not so fancy, but they often depict real things I have seen or experienced, even tho I am just a DAWG. It's abstract, cause I gots no THUMBS. (I am just a dawg, peeps!)

Another thing Dad will be putting up for sale, are some MINI-BERTHA's!! They will be small rottie stuffies with their own little service dog gear!! YAY!!

If you are interested in those things- keep your eyes peeled. I will post them, and so will Dad!

Dad is wondering about a NEW artform, too... t-shirts, by Bertha!

He figures, if I can paint on a flat canvas, why not on a t-shirt with a board under it to keep it stiff? If he used fabric-paint, it would look really abstract and COOL... and it would be really neat looking, if the fabric wrinkled up while I painted... wow. He will have to try that this weekend, I think.

A t-shirt would cost less if he buys them at the local discount shop- they're often sold in bulk that way, and he can buy BIG sizes, cause anyone can wear a fluppy oversized shirt, right?

What does you guys think?

Yay!!

2008-07-02T08:50:37Z

They tells me that I never POST no more... So I am makin' dad give you an UPDATE!!!

I have been semi-retired, b'cause my poor knees are bad, and I am gettin' a little old now... but I do not LIKE bein' semi-retired!! I'm very unhappy with that. (fretfretfret)

This week, something very exciting happened.

I got to WORKIES!!!

Not just the 'go with dad to the movies' kind of work, either!

Dad went into the hospital, and had SURGERY!

Yah!

I'm not happy about that part.

While Dad was gone, Pa says I cried and cried... I waited... because Dad should come HOME... but he did not. I acted like I knew, something was NOT right.

I was so very unhappy.

Then... DAD CAME HOME!!!

At first, I was SO happy!

Then I smelled him... oh my goodness. he had been to the /hospital/!! he had owies!!

I was BERFA-IN-ACTION!!

I changed my WHOLE routine.

I was WORKIN!!!

I would lay at the FOOT of the bed... so Dad could not get up without me /helpin'/ him. (I am trained to let him use my shoulders to help! he was SO owie!)

I would not let him go to the bathroom without bertha-supervision... just in case he needed anything, you know. (hey, can YOUR dawggie fetch toilet paper if YOU'RE out? heh heh heh)

I walked with him /everywhere/ he went... hold onto me, Dad! hold onto me!!

the other night, Dad was fussing in his sleep. he was owie!! I could smell it, and he was groaning a little... owie!!

I started pacing my bed, like i had to go outside or something- and Dad woke up. Pa too.

They thought I was being all 'I want out at 2am!'... but when Pa tried to take me out, I RAN for the living room!!

I danced and danced in front of the medicine!! Silly Pa!! Dad is OWIE!! bring medicine! bring medicine!!

Dad looked, and it was only a FEW MINUTES before he was supposed to take his medicine!!

Haw haw haw.

I is WORKIN' Girl Berfala!!

My life can't get much better, can it?

YAY!!

YAY!

2007-12-11T21:59:18Z

I wanted to share these pics with my good friend benkenobigal, who sent me an AWESOME holiday package!

This is me, wif my lamiedoodle and my new bandanna on!

Mmmm... lamiedoodle makes my MOUWF happy!

I will post more pictures soon- Dad is trying to sneak video of me playing with my new lamiedoodle, because I yodel and sing to it, which is very funny... but whenever he turns on the camera, or clicks the 'start filming' button, I look up, and stop. (heh heh heh...) I think I am driving him nuts. >:)

MAIL for ME! YAY!!

2007-12-05T15:34:09Z

I gots mail!! I gots mail!!

I gots mail, Just for Meeee!! (it even said "Big Bertha" on the label! Yay!)

Pa brought it home, and Dad opened it up, and I was all waggy-butt curious...

...and OUT popped a lamiedoodle!!

My ears went WOOOOP into the air! My stumpy-tail WAG-wag-WAGGED...

Pa took it to cut the label off, and I JUMPED in the air, and SLOOOPH! ....Pa was only holding a tag.

Haw haw!

All your lamiedoodles are belong to ME!

Haw haw!!

Dad reached into my mail again, and he pulled out a box.

What what what?? My nose squished against it- sniffing... lamiedoodle got in the way, but it was MY lamiedoodle now, so it would have to stay.

"It's BAN-DANNAS!" Dad and Pa both cheered!

Oh! Oh oh oh!! I bounced! I want a clean bandanna on! I want one!! I sat and pointed my nose, so that I could have one. *I* knows the value of a clean bandanna! It makes a girl very pretty, you know!

But wait... there was MORE!! ...Dad pulled out a Bag of GREEEEEENIES!!!

I Danced! I danced more! I SANG to lamiedoodle, who was in my MOUF and felt so GOOoooood!

Dad said, "You can have one of these later!" and I made a face. Bleah. I hate that word. 'later'. hrmf.

So I ran to my favourite spot and FLOMPHED down....

....and I spent the evening singing to my lamiedoodle. yodel yodel yodel... happy mouwf! happy lamiedoodle!

I WUVS you, benkenobigal!!!

Holiday Wishlists!

2007-11-22T14:11:34Z

This is just a little note, in case you do not belong to the holiday_wishes community already... I have a post there, that shows you all the neat things I wish for this holiday!

http://community.livejournal.com/holiday_wishes/1088152.html

I have met so many people through this community, I am hoping for even more friends this year! If you would like to join it, you can post YOUR wishes too, and grant all kinds of fun things to others as well! You should go look. It's good stuff.

I am very silly...

2007-11-22T12:36:47Z

...but then, you already KNEW I was a silly dawg, right?

Well if you didn't, here is another example of how my clever mind works:

Yesterday, Dad noticed I spent all day on PA'S side of the bed.

I laid my head on HIS pillow... I stayed on HIS side (and ONLY his!) and I curled up with my paws wrapped up in HIS side of the blanket...

Dad thought, 'how cute! she misses him today!'.

But I had a secret.

I had turned on the 'lectric blankie again... BOTH sides.

and Dad's was only set to 2... but PA'S was set to 5!

I was on HIS side, cause it was the warmest.

Heh.

I know. I need to figure out how to work that dial thingy, to make it the temperature *I* want it to be. hrmf. I am not quite THAT talented! (insert fowney face here, dad!)

I want this, for the holidays:

http://petmallamerica.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=3592

An electric dog bed!! YAY!!!

WOW would that be great.

Santa... pwease? I will be SUCH a good dawg! I promise!

PiiiiiiiiizZA!

2007-11-16T08:01:12Z

Tonight, Pa made PIZZA!!

Yummy yum yum yum...

He took it out of the oven.

It was all melty-cheesy-goodness *DROOL*

He said, "come on in and get some... it's ready!"

Dad got up from his computer to come get PIZZA...

I was already sitting behind Pa, with a paper plate in my mouwf.

I was in line for pizza.

No... REALLY! I thought, if I picked up the plate...
*shifty eyes*
.../I/ could take it to Dad...

Right?

RIGHT???

no?

Didn't work for me either.

Darn.

So... Cold... (bats eyes)

2007-11-01T13:05:30Z

We is having a War over the electric blanket, you know.

I loves it.

I REALLY loves it.

Last night, Dad and Pa said there is not enough room for them and me, alllll night long, on the bed. (it is only a double, they remind me, and you is BIG dawg!)

Hrmf.

Dad said, "okay Bertha... get off the bed... House. Go in your house. Okay, Ni Ni... go sleep, Ni Ni, Bertha... good girl..."

I was sooooooo saaaaad. I tried everything. The big brown eyes... the pouty face...

But Dad said he wanted a few hours of sleep without me on his legs, or without me squishing him into a sandwich. (he is not lunchmeat, I suppose...)

So I would get off him, off the bed, and lay down in my bed- which to be fair is BESIDE the futon mattress, so I could STILL share the warmies by leaning on them... but it's just not the same, ya know?

So I would wait.

When he started to snore, I would CREEP back up (because I is only a tiny wilting flower of a girl, doncha know!) and I would SNEAK onto the bed (how could they even notice me taking up such a tiny Bertha-space?) and I would CURL into the blankies, and snuggle them tight.

OH. Yes. I like to curl myself into the blankie... that could be part of it.

Pa whined, "I'm naked... the DOG took my side of the blanket!!"

Dad said, "off the bed, Bertha... go house, go nini!"

I slunk into my house.

When he snored, I snuck back... I CREPT onto the bed again, and wedged myself between Dad and the wall... surely, this mere SLIVER of a space was safe for me, the TINY sliver of a Bertha??

Dad snored.

Yay!

Then he said, "Ber...Tha...." oh noes. He is sleep-talking. "Go... ho...ouse.... ni... ni..." SNORE.

I SIGHED.

Pa giggled.

Dad grumbled.

Then he says, the bed moved... and Pa pulled up the covers to keep from having them stolen...

Then I snuck onto PA's side.

Heh. I is nothing if not SMART girl. ;)

Bertha 10, Dad/Pa 1.

Still plotting the ultimate posession of the electric blankie... if only I could make the PLUG work, when they're not sleeping in it... Darn.

Nom Nom Nom Nom...

2007-10-10T06:14:10Z

Because I have been recovering and all, my life has not been that interesting. All the same, I think I shoulds perhaps make an entry.

Not having much that is exciting, doesn't mean you wouldn't wanna see into my world, I think.

So, without further ado-ad-ness...

Ten Minutes in the Life of Bertha:

Dad is on the computer. He is cleaning his desk off while he works, and he comes across a box, and goes, "Hmmmm..." in that tone I know very well.

I have been GOOD. Dad knows this, and clearly, when he has stumbled apon a yummy that he knows I would like, he has decided to share it with me!

Sure enough, I am right. Dad turns his chair, and spills a few of the tiny objects into his palm, while he reads the box. (you gotta be sure things are safe for dawggies and such! plus... I think he was curious about this box, for some reason... it said 'NEW Flavours!' on it. hum.)

He throws me one, and I crunch the shell between my teeth, and nom nom nom, I roll it around in my mouwf, tasting it... YUMMY! Cherry Jelly Belly!! I wag my butt, and sit down in front of him. OH yes. MORE pwease??

He hmmms again, and picks another out, and tosses it in the air!

I am very skilled, so I catch it perfectly, even tho it is tiny.

Nom nom nom nom... I chew and chew and chew... I roll it around in my mouwf, and I ponder it. Buttered Popcorn!! Yummylicious!

Dad smiles, and tosses me another one.

I chew... and chew... and... hum. I tilt my head... Nom nom... uhm... nom... this one tastes like GRASS, Dad... they make a GRASS flavoured Jelly Belly? I didn't know that... I am confused, but it tastes so good, my mouwf is getting all frothy-happy-soft! YUMMY Jelly Bellies!!

They are just so good... and they only have a few calories each... you should brush your teefies after eating them, but they are pretty yummy... Nom nom nom... wait... I look at the ceiling. This one ia SAUSAGE.... Dad is smiling, and kind of snickering. Hum. Should I be worried?

nom nom... uhm. Then I wince, and I PEER at him... and I SWALLOW the one in my mouwf, and I peer sideways at him. Dad, that one was not so good. He laughs and rubs my chin. I now have SARDINE breath! Maybe that one would have been better for the cats. Hum. I look for the next one anyway. It was still a Jelly Belly, even if it WAS sardine-flavoured.

Nom nom nom.... I am very interested in these... yes, yes... Pepper flavoured... a little sharp, but yummy.... and ooh, I think that one might have been Pickle! I love pickles! ...and hum, that one tasted a bit like a booger... is that normal, Dad? Should a Jelly Belly taste like a booger? Dad only smiles, with /that/ look... oh he is naughty. He knows they are STRANGE Jelly Bellies, and he is having fun giving them to ME!

Nom Nom anyway, though!! I chew each one VERY thoughtfully... breaking it open, then rolling it around in my mouwf so I can chew and taste, chew and taste...

Then the last one lands in my mouwf, and I bite down... EEK!

I drop it, and I STARE at it... I peer closely... I sniff it. I look at Dad, but he is still smiling, so I take it in my mouwf again.

Yah... uhm, Dad... the SOAP flavour, not such a great Idea... I had to LOOK to make sure I wasn't EATING the REAL soap!! You bad hooman, you!! ...nom nom, it's still good, cause it's still a Jelly Belly.

Pa comes in, and he yelps at Dad, "David... are you torturing the dog with Bertie Botts Beans again??" And he cackles. Pa scolds him and laughs, and swats him on the way past...

Then he goes to HIS desk, and opens a baggie. "Here, Berfa..." he says, in his 'I love you' tone. "Have a cookie... they don't taste like nuffin but COOKIES!"

He throws me a berfa-animal-cracker.

YUMMY!

Nom Nom NOM!

I has a happy life, even when my hoomans are playin' tricks on me.

After all, what's a girl to do, when she's got two men hand feedin' her dessert... except DIG IN!

I hopes you is havin' a good dessert too!!

(watch out for those sardine flavoured ones, though... i'm warnin' ya! pretty darn WIERD.)

Big Bertha

I has kneeses.

2007-09-06T08:07:43Z

Do you know that song?

If you doesn't, you should.

http://www.rathergood.com/knees/

It gots subtitles, so you can learns the words... go ahead. I wait.

wait.

wait.

Okay, I gots only so much time at the keys, and Dad is not that patient. I will blog, and you be back later and read, OK?

My life is not very exciting right now, but I is not dead, and that's half the battle, right?

I was Dr. Bertha today.

I decided Dad should stay in bed ALL day, and not just take naps.

I would not LET him get up.

I sat on him.

When he got home, Pa said "good for her! you needed it." and all was right in the world again. Ha. I was rights.

You know, I don't get to go OUT so much anymore, because I tore my knees. :( It's sad, because I want to WORK work WORK all the time, but I can't.

Last week, Dad said it was time for the FAIR... I /LOVES/ the fair!! I walked over, and I gave him a VERY sad look, and I was all snuggly, and Pa said, "What? What's she doing?" and then they decided they could understand after all... ZI was saying, "Uhm. Thank you for thinking of me, but no, I will stay here, and when you gets back, I will be here to lay by you... I know it is hot, and we will have to walk a lot. No Fair for Bertha, this year.... I sowwy. Don't be mad."

You know what? They was not mad!!

Yay!

Dad said I was a GOOD girl, and later he said peoples asked where BERTHA was (I love the greek food the bestest, and the pavillions with store-shop-booths, andf the animal pens, and the art tents, and the HORSIE arena!!!) ...and Dad did not spend MUCH time there, but they spent a lot of time watching the horsies and mules... and they had lunch. I didn't even hound them for leftovers, cause I figured I was not /working/, so no leftovers for me...

You know what??

They brought me a TREAT!!!!

Oh the joy.

BEHOLD the joy of Berfala!!

I danced.

Ow.

Okay, so I gots knees... but they're not such GOOD knees... the Vet (I wuv my vet!!) says I tore the ACL ligament in BOTH of them... first one a while back, and then the other later on when I was at the boarding kennel... cause I got excited and played too hard. oops.

I'm taking lovely supplements sent by pookiegroupie and I can ask for painkillers when I want (and you know what? I sometimes ask for the BLUE ones... they aren't real painkillers, they have only anti-inflammatory and some allergy medicine to make mne sleepy? They figured out I gots ALLERGIES!! haw haw... I get the stuffy nose, and I wants my blue pills!! I like the painkillers when I is REALLY sore... but I use them less, and Dad says that's good news.

I'm just a dawg, and I don't know what 'forever' is, or how long that lasts, but Dad says as long as I am happy, everything will be okay. I won't has to go join dead dog or anything, as long as I am happy!!

You will be glad to know, I is VERY happy.

Right now, I is slave-whipping Dad to type, (because paws are not good for that) and sharing his dry-cereal snack... YUMMY. Chex and Cheerios are my favourites, (sometimes I get cheerios on my breakfast kibble! haw haw!) and this is chex with salty stuff on it... not as good as oatmeal cookies, but he says I can only have ONE of those. (darn.)

Just soes you all know... I is not having so many /OUTRAGEOUS ADVENTURES/, but I is still having a life. Life is good, yah? I is still working, even when they think I is retired.

Retirement is boring. I likes to work.

A few days ago, Dad would not get up, when it was UPtime...

I did the 'get UP dance'... (that means I snuggle him till he wakes a little... then wiggle and make him pet me... then I WIGGLE more, and I start to push him... I brace my back against him and my feet against the wall, and I PUSH... if that doesn't work- I KICK him out. BOOT!)

It didn't work. He just rolled over and said to go away.

I went into my bed, and he went back to sleep... but I is not RETIRED... so I got a secret weapon. My hippo.

I took my stuffed squeaky hippo, and I stood over him, and I BONKED him on the head, again and again and again...

He got up.

See now? If I can tell when Dad needs to be up, and when he should sleep... I think I is NOT retired yet.

I don't care what the stupid people say... I is only HALF retired.

I wonder if he will bring me a yummy new dog food tomorrow? He says he has to go get dog food for me, cause we is out of kibble... and I have been losing wieght, so they want to change what kibble I eat. (I gets some people foods, like Carrots, too...) I hope he brings me home a can of Wing-A-Ling... that is my favouritest food, EVER... I would settle for a new chew hoofie, or a pig ear or texas toothpick- that's a tailtip from a cow or piggie!! I love them.

YUM.

I's good with half-retired.

Just bring on da foods... it be foods for berfa time!

An EXTRA-EXCITING Day!

2007-07-23T07:03:01Z

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness... today was so very exciting! I have had so many boring days, but today was VERY exciting!!

First, the ALARM went off... not the bad one, where there might be a fire, and not the 'time for work' one like when Pa has to work... but the 'up up!' one, when something SPECIAL is happening!

We went to the MOVIES!!!

If you don't already know, the MOVIES is my favourite thing in the whole wide WORLD!

We went to the EARLY movie, where it is only five dollars per person (and I don't count, cause I is a dawg.) and we got to see Harry Potter!! Don't worry, I won't spoiler it for you, but I had SO much FUN! WOW that was an exciting movie! I had a big huge smile on my face, and I watched it all, because it was so interesting! (Dad says he wonders what I think when I am watching, because I listen, and watch the things move on the screen, and wag my tail sometimes, or lay my head in his lap, or on his knee... I liked to be Pa's during this movie, and mostly laid by HIM... woo, that bad guy is scary! Whew, I am glad he never comes after ME!)

So then we went HOME! I was tired, and we were all hot, and Dad went FLOP, and slept for a while, because he was really worn out. (me too, but don't tell him. I slept by his side, and watched to make sure he did not have a 'crash'... yah, really, I was workin'... honest. You b'lieve me, right?)

Then, though... it got time for Pa and Dad to go to PRACTICE for the big ritual... they're in this year's ritual at the big three (four for staff and ritualists) day event of the summer- it's called "Fires of Lughnasadh"! Some peoples call it "ritual drama", cause it's a lot like a play or a movie... but um... I didn't knows that untill TONIGHT. Uhm. I haven't been with on the other practices, cause of my booboo knee... which is LOTS better! So they took me with!! YAY!!!!

I was SO excited!! I was SO happy!! They parked where I was RIGHT beside the pathway between the green space where part of the 'drama' takes place, and outside the stone circle where the more ritual part of the thing takes place, so I could watch BOTH parts!!

Now, I never seen this before, cause i always go to the doggie-day-spa to stay while this is goin' on, cause it's HOT this time of year... but today was cool and even a little rainy, so I laid in the van at first, while they went and got ready for practice.

I heard it was a 'dress rehersal' but what I didn't know, was the group that puts this one (just this ONE time every year!) is uhm... they calls it 'skyclad'... so it was an UNDRESSED rehersal!!! I was confused. Why is Dad nekkid outside? He never goes outside nekkid. Uhm. He is carrying a sword. I SEE swords, but I is not a /gaurd/ dog... I do not know about them.

I has this trick, see... I know how if someone hits Dad or Pa with a baseball bat or something, I know how to GRAB it, and TAKE it and RUN AWAY!!!! I is not biting dawg! I is pro-tek-to-dawg!!

So I was watching them on the lawn... and they was doing the 'ritual drama' thing... and I was wondering whyfor they all had sharp pointy things... and then it happened!!!! OMG!!!

The man they called "John Barleycorn" was their KING, they said, but then all the peoples with sharp pointy things attacked him!! AUGH!!! AAAAUUUGGH!!! Dad was by the back, and he looked nervous, and Pa JUMPED in and tried to KILL the King-man!! OMG!!! I was jumping to watch!! The man grabbed his sword-hand and pointed HIS sword at him and I was like, OH NOES!!! This is bad!!

Then it got skeeeeeery to me, cause I is a dawg, and I don't understand the concept of barley-kings of celtic peoples, and how they was only PRETENDING when they killed him... He went all slumpy, and I was paniced! My eyes were THIS big!!! O.O

I watched, while they put him on the beir... and I watched while they did all sorts of singing and stuff... but I don't speak human, so I didn't know that they were pretending to cut down the proverbial king that rises again every spring like the new crops... I didn't know NONE of that! I just knowed one of the cool peoples had a BIG sword fight, and almost got Pa, and then they KILLED him!! Pa /helped/ too!! eek! eeeeeekk!!

Well THEN you would never believe how it ENDS UP!!! You woud NEVER expect it!! (If you was a DAWG, Dad says, and ruffles my ears, all laughing! "Silly Bertha.")

They put the beir on the FIRE!!! There was a FIRE!!! I saw the torches, and then the FIRE!!!

OH MY GAWD!!! FIRE! Fire! They's puttin' him on the fire! ...wait.

Then I was confused. How come the King was hanging out by my van all of a sudden? I went to the window and sniffed. Uhm. I don't smell no BLOOD... I don't even smell any FEAR...

hey.

He is not DEAD... That's not even HIM on fire in the middle of the circle!!

I climbed into the driver's seat and I watched VERY carefully... hey.

They FOOLEDED ME!!!

How did that happen???

Dad says it's Maaaaaaagic. The kind where if you is looking where they want you to be, you do not SEE that the real life person is not the one they is burning, and that they is not REALLY killing a person for a /sacrafice/... they is not barbarians after all!

He watched all the rest of it from nearby with other peoples, and talked about what looked good and what did not!! And his Queen was still all acting like he was dead and burned!!

I guess that's why they calls it MAGIC... I was SO happy, to know he was not REALLY killed, and that they was having a BIG Celebration!

Except I gets to go to the Rehersals... but I don't gets to go to the real thing. (POUT) I gets to go to the doggy day spa. Dad says the mosquitos and the camping is all too much heat and work for me still, while my knee is not all the way healed. I can't stay there while it is going on, cause I would get like, heatstroke...

...or maybe I would try and take away those pointy things before someone gotted KILLED!

HRMF.

I will tell you how I like it, and Dad will talk about how the 'Fires' celebration goes in his blog too. He says it is always fun, and always neat to go to... you don't gotta be NEKKID all the time, just for inside the circle if you wants to go to that part- it's the way that group does their magic.

I wanna know how they get so good at Magic, without no pockets to hide things in.

O.o

Big Bertha

Oh my goodness.

2007-06-15T20:49:14Z

You have not heard from me in SO long...

Don't worry. I is not dead.

(hee hee)

But I have not been WELL. I sowwy. I will post all about my adventures with my Vet (YAY! I LURVE my Vet!!) later. Right now, my job is to make Dad POST again!! Type Dad, type!

Here is a little bit of Bertha-JOY for you all to share with me:

This morning, Dad got up early, and so later, he decided he would go back to bed for an hour or two. He went in and said "lets nap!" and I vrooomed into the bedroom! Yay, naps! I love those!

Well he shoo'd me off the bed, and he said, "wait a minute... it's kind of nippy this morning in here, so let me get a blankie on the bed!" all playful-scolding. He was busy arranging his blanket on the bed and climbing in- but -I- was BOUNCING, DASHING into my bed!! Yay!!

Dad laid down, and I came RACING out of my bed with a Blankie!! A Blankie!! He said he needed a Blankie!!! (and not just ANY blankie! I have lots in there, but this was my FAVOURITE bright PINK blankie, too!!)

I BOUNCED to my spot on the bed, and I PLOPPED the blankie on Dad's chest, and I laid my head on it. -Flop-!

Dad was laughing very hard... he never asked me to bring him a blankie before- but I had brought him one. He laughed more, and put it beside him (hrmf. he said he has one now, silly!) but I was still HAPPY happy! I laid down on MY blankie (but when he woke up it was still half on top of HIM, tee hee... I tried to cover him again!) and we NAPPED!

I is one very happy girl now. See? Sometimes life is very good!!

And that has been your Big Bertha moment for the day! I hope you are having a good day. You POKE Dad if he does not keep posting for me... my life is still one big OUTRAGEOUS ADVENTURE!

Big Bertha

YAY!!

2007-01-22T06:38:20Z

I am feeling MUCH better now, thank you all!! (Especially ramblin_robin who gave me special healing feelings all the way from there- to ME!! It made me much much better!

I still have some queasy-barfy moments, and then dad pours a little puddle of pepto into my bowl, and I am all licking it up and HAPPY a few minutes later! Yay! My potties are MUCHLY improved, though dad is remarking on the amount of fiberfill in some of it... he said something about stealing some of my toys because I am un-stuffing them somehow, sneakily... I hope he doesn't steal boodabear. I LURVE boodabear... but he says it's very important that i NOT eat the yummy fluffy polyfill. *sigh* that's so unfair.

Today we went on an ADVENTURE!!! (Which is why we have this journal, "BBOA" which stands for: Big Bertha's Outrageous Adventures!)

You see, Dad and Pa had a 'date' to go see a movie- called "Pan's Labyrinth" I know what a Pan is- it's a statue or a pie plate. and I KNOW what a Labyrinth is, 'cause we have one right here at the park!!! I have walked it before, and it's fun fun fun... back and forth, around and around-- oh, right, the MOVIE!!

So they said they were GUNNA go Friday night... but then nooooooo, things happened- they pro-crast-tin-nated-ed-ed... and I HATE that. I was very sulkish about the whole thing. They said, they could save money by going to the other theatre in the AM show... so why not so Saturday instead? Darn.

But then on Saturday, Dad and Pa both realized they had made a mistake... they wouldn't get out of the AM show in time to meet some people- they were going to trade a saddle Dad was selling, to some nice horse-peoples who were going to put his super-special car into an enclosed trailer and carry it safe and sound to this new house! yay!

...I didn't get to go.

BOOOOoooooo!

So they went and got the car, and it was a super good trade, because the people did very good taking care of the car- but then Dad AND Pa needed a 'nap' before the movie... I laid still and silent for FOUR HOURS while they 'napped'... and then when they got up, do you know what they did???

They PRO-CRAST-TIN-ATE-ED-ED-ED again!!!!

They said, why pay full price NOW, when we could stay up late, and get up early and go to the AM show? Right?

AAAAUGH!

I was giving them dirty looks, to tell you the truth.

But then Sunday came, and the alarm went off, and I BOUNCED around... and Dad got out my SPECIAL harness and a new way he has found for me to help him walk when he has to do a lot of walking... he wanted to test it out on some errends before the movie- but when we got in the Van, it didn't go "vroom vroom!" it went, "rrr...r...r....clickclickclick."

Dad and Pa ran around in circles, and I sat in the front seat, with my head HANGING... I knew it. There was never going to be a movie. *sigh* I stared at my reflection in the side mirror, and sighed quite dramatically while they tried to fix it... jump-starting the older car so many times, then not driving for a bit (SEE... you should have gone to the movies, not NAPPED!) and then not making sure the 'emergency charger' was oh... CHARGED... seee? SEEEEEE what happens when you do that PRO-crast-tin-ate-ing-ing?? See? *sigh* *whine*

So. There we were. All dressed up and no place to go. *sigh* I hung my head like I was sick again, because I felt horrible. NO Movie... *sob*

They talked and talked, because MONEY is tight, and they wanted to see the movie, and i hope they felt GUILTY because I wanted to GOOOoooo! *huff* ...and they decided they would take the bus.

Now, I haven't BEEN on a bus in three years, when I was first trained, so that was a HUGE adventure for me!! ...and plus, Dad used his new 'rig' on me, so it was my 'helper' harness with a pull-strap around his hip... so I could propel and steady him while we walked... it worked great! He is going to work on that, and then maybe we can walk more!!

But the air brakes of the bus kind of scared me, and I was running around in circles between busses... and Dad had to take medicine, cause he gets all carsick an stuff. Poor Dad. (serveshimrightprocrastinatinandeverything...grumblegrumble)

We had a twenty minute wait between busses, and I got to go to a FLOOR store!! I didn't know why, but they had Popcorn there, and the lady loved me, and they wanted to see all my tricks, so I showed them off for popcorn bites!! ...Dad said something about buying 'underlayment' for my bed or something, but that's not as important as pets and tricks and POPCORN!!

YAY!!

Then we got on another Bus, and Dad was stressing a bit, because it went by the bad people's pasture... so close... he was sickey too, from the bus ride, and I snuggled him. I let some girls pet me. I jumped at the air brakes, and shivered a little. *SKEERY sounds!*

Then... this is the BEST part!! ...we went to PETSMART!!!

I LOVE that store!! This is not my OLD store, but a NEW store, and Dad introduced me to /everyone/ since we will be going there a lot... and I got SO MANY treats!!! I got to do tricks for them, and Dad talked about putting me into 'classes' again if he can afford it- not thast I don't know the things they teach, but because I LOVED my classes SO much before, when I was being trained... it was like... doggie library time, or after school sports... you're not learning, you're /practicing/... with FRIENDS!! YAY!!

We went ALL over, and Dad weighed me at the new vet's... this is scary though... do you know what I wieghed today?

go ahead. Guess.

I bet you're wrong...

...try again?

No?

100 lbs.

That's right, I lost *20* whole POUNDS!!!

That's not a BAD thing tho, cause I was a fat girl, and when I put on the wieght, dad will make sure it is in muscle, and not fat!! when he GOT me, I was SO fat, when I sat down, the rolls would form all the way down my back and fall on my butt like a shar-pei... I wieghed 140+ back then!! wow, huh? But I have a waist now!!

I am lookin' GOOD!

I met so many people- and then Dad and Pa did that THING again!!

*GRRRRRR*

I have a new word for my 'hate that word' list. Procrastinate. You betcha, ya. No one SAYS it, but I know when they're DOING it!!

They said, why not go have lunch/dinner NOW, and wander the mall, and THEN see the movie...

AAAAUGH!

But I forgot all about being mad, when I got my share after dinner- a few fries and a chunk of yummy lettuce and pickles! Yum!! I love lettuce SO much!! Especially when it tastes like the burger it was on!

It was also so hard to be mad with so many people stopping to talk to me, and ask to pet me and even talkity talk about me... my working harness rig has a "please ask to pet me, I'm friendly" patch on it, so /everybody/ wanted to scritch me!!

I met so many people. That will last me for entries and entries...

I saw SO many new stores, and Dad thinks I would laugh if I knew one of the things he bought was a calendar/dayplanner for chronic procrastinatotrs to learn how to not do that so much! HAW HAW! I would laugh... but then I would bite his BUTT for procrastinating even buying THAT!! silly humans.

So then they noticed they mis-remembered the movie time... *sigh* Yes. Bad Dad. Bad Pa. I looked up at them both when they kept saying 'movie' in a worried tone... I swear to you, readers, if they had said 'no movie' i would have chased them all the way home, biting butts!!!

but no, they decided to go anyway, and i got to meet all the new THEATRE people!! This is a whole new place for me, because now that we have moved, our old favourite theatre is a long drive... this one is only a few miles away! ...and they LOVED me!! I was so happy! I have made so many new friends!! and I was IN THE MOVIES!!!!

*YAY!!!!!!*

I was so happy, I /squirmed/.

When we sat down, I was in a BIG hurry for Dad to get everything right. I was finding the right seat (right in the middle, near to the exit enough that he can get up to potty, but where I can see between the seats- then I pushed so he would not forget to put down the armrests in the two seats in front of us, because that is how I SEE the movie, between the seats!!) and then I FLOPPED down... and I GRINNED like a silly silly SILLY dog!!

I was EX-HOO-DING happiness and LURV... I was so happy. I was just... blissed out. I watched the commercials, and I wagged my tail-stub furiously.

Finally, we were at the movies!! ...before the weekend was over!! YAY!!!!!!

YAAAAYYYY!!!

YAAAAAYYY!!!

(I can't say that enough!)

YAAAAAAYY!!!

Then some people sat in front of us- which isn't a problem with that nice 'stadium steating' there, but before the previews were over, Dad did what he always does- he leaned up and 'introduced' me! ....cause I watch between the seats, and sometimes i make myself TOO comfy, and set my chin there, or poke my head there to seee how THEY like the movie... hee hee.

On one side, the young man moved over a seat- he looked very nervous. eek eek! rottie! ...but with a seat between us, he was okay with it... the LADY though... she was older, and VERY sweet, and reached up to pet me... and it was LURV. I LURVED on her so MUCH...

In the middle of the movie, Dad noticed I was leaning on his leg. He figured I had my head against it, so he reached down to ruffle me and... hey. That was my shoulder!! ...where would my HEAD be, then???

He looked down, and my head as on the Lady's SHOULDER!!!

He was SO embarassed... her hand was on my cheek, scritching softly and slowly as we watched the movie together, and he started to say something in apology and to draw me away, but she whispered, "shhh... no, let her... she's been like this for a while now..." and she was SO content! So was I!!!

I wurv'd her!

Dad kept looking over, thinking she and her hubby were cuddling, and they were holding hands, while I laid my chin on the armrest between them on their arms or shoulders... hee hee hee...

And they didn't even need popcorn to make me love them!

Well, niether did DAD and PA... but I LIVE with them!

Then the movie was over, and everyone was getting ready to go, and Dad and Pa had to figure out a way home... it turns out that they had not realized that the movie was going to let out about 20-30 minutes AFTER the last bus would run!! *sighs and smacks a paw to forehead, covering eyes*

I am embarassed to see that. Aren't you embarassed to READ it?

Tsk.

So they asked about a Cab... cause being new here, they didn't know what cab company to call!!

It turns out, luck was on their side... a man who drives a cab had left his card at the front desk, and the nicve lady there was happy to have taped it onto her register, and Pa was able to just call him up and ask for a ride home! He expected the bill for THAT to be pretty high, but you know what? The guy was SO COOL... if you live in Everett, Wa, you ask, and I will give you his mumber, cause he was WICKED COOL NEAT!! He talked and talked with my people, and he rolled tyhe window down when he heard my van doesn't have a roll down window, so he could give me a 'doggie treat' of JUST being able to sniff the air in my face. WOO!! It was fun!! and he went the shortest, quickest way, so Dad gave him a nice tip, since it cost MUCH less than expected!

So good times were had by all!!

We got home safe and sound, and I got my dinner, and Dad and Pa are up late havin' fun doing my blog and getting some pictures that I will make them post, that they took of the car-move and of my new 'pullin' rig... I will make sure those go up soon!

I am SO blissed out now, I am layin' on the bed... I was a little drooly, but after more pepto, I'm layin' right in the middle of the bed, snorin' my little heart out, and rememberin' my BIG day, and the BIG adventures we had...

And thinking about the next adventure to come!

YAY!

Big Bertha

I got to WORK today!!

2006-12-26T06:31:47Z

I am SO tired now!! I got to WORK today!!

You may think that sounds pretty easy, but Pa and Dad have been SO busy, and I have only been working at home, lately! I go out sometimes, but not for very long at a time...

Today we went to do ERRENDS! We took the Van of course, and we drove out so Dad and Pa could check out Baby, and bring a present to the people who are caretaking her, and the money for her 'rent'! ...and then we got to go to the MOVIES!!!

Movies! Movies! Movies!!!

I love Movies SO much!!

Dad's tummy was bothering him, and I was a little wierded out because today we went with some friends I love very much- and so do Dad and Pa, actually- S and her son J... and Pa and S wanted to see a movie about a DRAGON... while J and Dad wanted to see a SKEERY movie about... uhm...

...As near as I can tell, it was a movie about bad people who liked to poke other people's eyes out on xmas...

I am not sure why Dad and J found this fun and sometimes funny... I am just a dawg- I focused on my work, you know- and besides, (urgh!!) A couple sat right in front of me, and totally blocked my way of seeing the screen while laying down. HRMF!! I kept wanting to reach up and nudge them apart, but Dad says they were 'snuggling'... looked like kissing to ME. EW! Humans sharing spit!! ewwww.

I sat up and watched instead. Some lady next to us kept taking pictures with her cellphone, of me- she said she never saw a dog in a theatre before, and never one that was watching the movie and seemed to follow the plot... I don't know as I followed the plot, but I DID perk my ears, and 'smile' and let my tongue hang out, like I was enjoying all the action... cause well, I WAS! duh!

Then in the middle of the movie, Dad's guts got all riled up, and I could tell his pouch was in distress... he needed medicine and to go to the potty soon... I kept poking him, and he kept petting me like he was just going to wait- but I know how long a MOVIE is!! I finally POKED his tummy HARD over the spot where his J-pouch is, and he realized he was very close to an emergency... so he jumped up like I TOLD him to, fifteen minutes ago!! (duh Dad!!) and bookity-booked to the potty... I ran him there, practically.

His poor gut... I feel sorry for him, and I looked very mournful while he did his business and took care of things. He would be wanting to go back to the movie I knew, but when we came out, I stopped and sat down. *plop* in the bathroom lobby.

Don't tell him I said so, but Dad is a little 'toopid sometimes... I had to poke his pocket, before he realized. Yah Dad... this is the only place in the WORLD (well, My world!) where you can put three quarters into a machine, and get a little box out, that holds a Magical, Wonderful, SPECTACULAR bottle of MINTY DROPS!!!

Dad /laughed/ and bought me a tiny bottle of SUPER icy cold minty drops... He puts them on my chew hoofs and sometimes my toys, and I LURV it... oh it is so yummy good. yummy yummy in my MOWF!!

So we walked back to rejoin J, and we sat down, and I poked Dad's medicine bottle a few times, before he remembered, duh- take the calm-down-gut medicine too, silly Dad... he took it, and within a few minutes, he was feeling MUCH better!

So was I- because I knew Dad was all good, and J was having fun too, and Pa and S MUST me in another theatre... because I did not see them outside in the lobby when we passed...

After the movie, we chatted in the lobby, while everyone toiok a turn at the busy restrooms... then I got to have my POPCORN REWARD!!! (That is one of my favourite parts... I get to stick my head in the leftover bag of popcorn and wolf down a bunch, before we leave!) then we went outside, and *I* ran to potty (Hey, we all gotta GO!) and then got in the van while everyone stood and talked about the movies some more... it was a good time had by all!

And then we had to go to McDonald's for a Burger and Fries. *DROOL*

I was SUPER happy by the time we got home, even though we did all kinds of stuff all day, and I was SO tired! I got a bite of burger and a few fries in my supper, and a LOT of 'good girl bertha' from my favourite movie-theatre people... I love movies.

Oh, did I mention that already? (grins with tongue lolling)

Cause I DO. Any movie, any time.

Big Bertha
-the movie goin' dawg!

Dad re-posts an old entry...

2006-12-18T07:38:20Z

Dad 'reposts' an old entry from my old blog-

----

Dad writes:

These works are all done on artist-grade canvas-board, with artist-grade acrylics. Big Bertha paints with a foam brush that has a wooden handle she can hold in her jaws. I hold the canvas for her, and let her choose how to apply the paint. I let her choose three colors from her row of paints before we start, so even the color choices are Big Bertha's! (within the limits of what colours I have bought already, of course.)

These are three of her Paintings:

-

-

Bertha had a definate URGE to paint today. She was very unhappy when i got my art things out, and demanded hers right away, for her to paint first. The moment she had her 'palette' (a round table with all her (bottles) of colors of paint sitting on it) she chose three right away, and was very eager to get working.

She concentrated very very hard... and she began her work with the first color she'd chosen- the lightest- yellow. She was quick to know where she wanted that, and quickly surrendered the paintbrush, while looking on top of the table for the next one- for a minute, I'd forgotton which she chose next, so I started to offer both, and she quickly indicated the brown. She was VERY deliberate, even careful with the little stabbings of color, and when she felt done, she finally gave me back the brush- I asked three times if she was done, before she gave it to me, but as always, I offer her again just in case, and nope, she wanted that red one, right now! I loaded the red brush, but she was unhappy with it for some reason- since she was sniffing the tip, I thought maybe I hadn't put enough paint on- I loaded it a little more, and she was happy- with this one, she was very agressive and forward, placing her color, and then almost immidiately surrendering the paint brush- she considered taking it again, but looked at the canvas, wagged her butt and went to find a place to sit while I set it aside... she was done!

Only after the next weekend trip to the local Dog Park, did I realize how surprising this painting is- there is a huge metal 'sculpture' in bright yellow just outside the fenced 'off leash' part- and the off leash park is bedded/covered/floored with wood chips. I cannot figure out what the red spot would be, but sometimes she seems to use the red like that- one figure. I wonder if she was painting the dog park! (I'll have to take a picture so you can see what I mean!)

-

-

Amusingly, I thought we were done too, but Big Bertha had other ideas- she demanded a second choice of colours, and this time, only picked two. an Aqua blue and a bright Foliage green. She was fierce about it, so that I didn't have time to wash the last brushes, I had to grab up two entirely new brushes to work with her with.

She was very pushy and picky about the first colour, choosing it as first to use, and demanding that the paintbrush be re-loaded (and heavily) several times. I was very surprised as she demanded I brace the canvas against her paw so she could really push the brush around and make a BIG area. She rarely does that kind of colouring. Then she wanted the green- to me, she seemed suddenly frustrated, the very second I gave her the brush. Conflicted, making little rumbly-growly sounds of discontentment, as she tried to hold the brush in her jaws, her mouth, against her tongue- she really struggled. I thought maybe the subject in her mind troubled her, or maybe she was trying to convey something with her very careful, deliberate slices along the canvas... she didn't seem entirely happy with the canvas, but she dropped the brush into my hand at one point, and got up as if to say 'that will have to do!' ... only after cleaning up the brushes, did I realize the brush i'd given her was of an entirely different kind of wood handle- I don't know if she was concentrating and frustrated, thinking of a subject and frustrated, or perhaps most likely, she was frustrated by the change in the way she had to manipulate the brush in her mouth to do what she wanted! Whichever, she decided it was done, and she was content enough with it, so we'll all just have to wonder what confounded her so!

I might also note in retrospect, the Aqua colour is the very same colour as one of the futon covers we use most often- and there does appear to be a distinct human-shape to one or two of the figures- three big ones (us and the dog?) and three tiny ones, perched on the back and end where the three cats all lay. Is this a Family Portait? *grin*

-

-

We should call this one, "Queen of the Mountain"-

Just before asking to paint today, Big Bertha had a rare treat- a big roll of rawhide, basted with yumminess. I notice that when it came time to choose colors, she knew RIGHT what she wanted- grabbing the red (which I have come to wonder if it represents her sometimes) and then the dark blue which she has *never* chosen before (it looks black in the bottle) and then the bright green. In accordance with the way we paint, I loaded her brushes in the order she chose them, and she quite deliberately made one big figure and several small ones in red- before she made an attempt to brush up and down and side to side with the blue- she seemed a little less than happy with the outcome, but deliberately laid down the brush on the floor when I had not offered to take it but she was done with it. After a moment of carpet cleaning (chuckle) She got her green brush. She seemed puzzled about how she wanted to apply this, and once done, showed absolutely no more interest in painting again tonight.

Amusingly, I notice that the blue (which again, looked black in the bottle- maybe she thought it was going to look black on canvas!) would have been the color of her (black) crate, and the green is the same color as the blanket she is currently using in it. If red represents herself and other animal figures, then I wonder if she were not depicting herself, queen of the mountain in her crate with her lovely rawhide prize on her blanket earlier- chasing off any cats who might come too close. She loves her rawhide a little TOO much to share. ;)

----

Dad adds (after reposting these): Mind you, some of her paintings are 'smaller' in that she doesn't apply as much paint. I chose these three for her old blog, to show the strangeness with which her day or recent experiences sometimes are reflected in her paintings. Understand, for all I know she just likes the challenge of doing a 'task' that pleases me- but to ME, it seems like she truly has a goal when she paints. I can only GUESS what she does and why!!

One of the paintings that is going out this holiday, is her only SINGLE colour one- it has baffled us for MONTHS... since the day she painted it- she chose a purple colour, and made ROUND blots on the canvas, and seems very very happy with it... but why? Only this last week, apon re-sconsulting both my journal and the notes about her painting it, did I REALIZE... we'd been berry picking ALL DAY that day- Yes, we'd gone out to see the horse, but we'd picked gallons of berries for a friend who makes his own berry wine... and Bertha had eaten more than her share of them! yummy! ...I think she was painting berries!! Amazing, isn't it?

I have been facinated by animals who paint, most of my life... when Bertha truly seemed to enjoy it, I have continued to encourage her to choose painting sessions, by keeping at least one or two paint brushes where she can bring them to me, to signal her desire to paint. I also sometimes bring my own art supplies out, and occasionally this triggers her to want to paint too. Rarer now, I will just get out her painting stuff, and see if she is 'in the mood'... but it's less often that she responds to that anymore- instead, she likes to CHOOSE when to paint. Amazing, in my eyes... it baffles and amuses me.

I hope you enjoyed this retro-entry!!

Big Bertha's 'Dad'

It has been a strange day.

2006-12-18T07:23:28Z

Dad was not feeling as good as he could, because yesterday he and Pa did a lot of work. He was tired and they are stressed. Then the landlord-man came over, to fix the fence as best he could, and poor Dad had to hide in the bedroom under the covers.

It sounds silly, but he was so unsettled by the sound of the man's voice talking to Pa outside the window, (he sounded angry again) that he turned on the sound machine and crawled into bed and slept.

It turns out that the people next door yelled and yelled at the landlord-man and Pa both, as if it was THEIR fault the fence fell, because they had to drive a couple posts on 'their' side of the fence. Pa says the landlord-man is going to have to pay a legal-type-person to do a thing called a 'survey' to prove where the property line is, so he can build a brand new fence there ON his own property edge. They have been arguing so long over it, he is finally mad enough to just pay it. that was part of the yelling. :(

Pa let dad sleep in, and I slept in too, on the bed beside him. (I don't like yelling either, but I would *BOOF* everytime it got too loud. I was saying 'stop that! dad is feeling scared!!' but they don't speak 'dog' very well. Hrmf.

Humans should have to study dog in school.

I had to study HUMAN in school, after all.

TWO languages!! English with 'dog signals' in doggie class, and ASL signals in silence when Dad went to college with me to learn ASL! Hrmf.

I is multi-lingual. They should be too.

It has been VERY scary, though... lots of wind, and I have been kind of sicky-poo. ...I have the 'run to the bathroom quick and often' bug... Dad says I get to meet a NEW vet tomorrow... I wonder if I will like him? I LOVED my vet! We moved though... and they ALL said that this new Vet would be THE guy to go to... so Dad is going to take me there just to meet him and see what he thinks about my poor gut- Dad thinks it is because he ran out of my normal kibble, and was feeding me some other brand that my tummy did not like. I am back on my normal kibble, so we will see...

I have been SO lucky... All KINDS of peoples have sent me presents!! I feel like such a lucky dog!!! I want to tell ALL the people who sent me something this year, that a Big Bertha painting is on the way! Dad has to wait untill payday to send them, and he is just now hooking up his printer so he can print each one out a little certificate kind of thing, and a sheet that will tell you all the notes he took the day I painted YOUR painting!

He tries to figure out why I choose the colours I do, and why I paint what I do, by taking notes about my day, and about how I did the painting... like, did I just slap the paint around? was I SUPER careful? Was I insistant about more paint on the brush often or did I want to make ONE mark and then dropped it for a brush with another colour? It can be very interesting, he thinks- so when you recieve your painting, you will get that information too!!

He is also trying to figure out a sneaky way to get a picture of me painting. Usually, when someone takes out the camera, I get distracted!! So he has not been able to get a GOOD picture... one day, he hopes to put up a webpage just for my art, with a whole video of me from start to finish, doing one painting... he is thinking maybe a webcamera snuck in a spot and put on record might work, if he can figure out how to edit the parts from before I get started and after I finish... or maybe Pa can hide with the camera inside, and I can work on the porch, when it gets less cold... hmmmm. Dad can be very sneaky!

If you want to read a little bit about my paintings, Dad will make an entry soon, taken from my old blog- where he showed three paintings and what he wrote about them after I did them! Maybe If I chomp his butt, he will do this tonight!!

I did good today!

2006-12-15T19:12:03Z

Today was a 'bad day' for Dad... and I did my job JUST right!

Tonight, Pa has a 'holiday' dinner with his Boss, and all the people he works with. They have Invited Dad just like everyone else's spouse was invited, and that's very special in this world!!

Dad though, is not feeling himself. :(

He is tired, and scared, and he doesn't feel very good (he is so TIRED and SORE!) and his hands hurt and he is WORRIED all the time!!

The other day, the landlord came to fix a leak, and he yelled a lot about wanting a 'security deposit' for me, and Dad was scared because the horse-man had gotten violent after HE yelled, so he was scared even though the landlord did not hurt him at all... he just scared him. The law says he isn't supposed to ask for a deposit, and the lease is signed and says they will not charge one, so Dad was confused and scared!! I haven't done anything wrong, so there did not seem to be a reason for the man to be so MAD... Dad has not really been himself since then. :( :( Poor Dad. I cuddled him, but it isn't helping.

Last night, the window leaked even WORSE, and the WHOLE fence along one side of MY YARD fell down!!!

(we had high winds and bad rain last night!)

So Dad was very upset, knowing he would have to be home 'alone' (I am here, silly Dad!) when the landlord-man comes back... :( And the housing authorites have already sent the landlord a warning letter, so he might understand, or he might be MADDER in Dad's eyes! So he could not sleep last night very well.

This morning, he wanted to sleep IN, but things kept interrupting him, and he kept waking up and tossing and turning, and he was SO cranky that when Pa called to say he'd gotten to work and to remember the fence was down, don't let me out without supervision in case I was too scared by it to do my 'bizzness' (the downed fence looks freeee-kaaaay!)... he snapped at Pa about how he was NOT going to get to sleep in, and NOT going to the dinner if he couldn't get some extra sleep because he did NOT feel good...

I knew I had to act.

OH yes.

I am a Service Dog... and sleep is something dogs know BEST about!

Normally, I sleep in my bed RIGHT next to Pa's side of the bed, and Dad cuddles Pa, while I cuddle from the other side in my bed... but today, I knew what HAD to be done. Oh yes. I was on a MISSION.

Dad turned off his 'sound machine' (it makes sounds softly, like rain or a brook, so he can sleep!) and he stalked into the bafroom.

I waited by the door.

When he came out, I got my nose UNDER his butt, and I Push-push-pushed like i would lift him right up if he didn't MOVE... and I pushed him RIGHT back into the bedroom!!

I sat my BUTT right against the door. (thump!! there! see? no leave!)

I push-push'd again, twords the bed.

Dad stared at me. I have never done those things before, I know... and I may not be the smartest cookie in the jar, but I am not 'TOOPID.

I Bounced at Dad, and pushed- JUST when he was putting the covers of the sleeping bag up... and PLOP, he fell down.

Normally, he would have yelled at me, I know- so I *zooophed* and laid down perfectly in my bed, and wagged my tail hopefully.

I was saying 'you're in bed now, right? I am right here! sleep!!!'

He grumbled, and got into bed again, to 'try'... I think he was so surprised, and kind of cold, so he wanted to sulk, and maybe cry or something.

When he was IN the sleeping bag, I watched him stare at the wall or the ceiling a while, and look unhappy.... so I knew this had not been enough. MORE was needed!! (I need a super-dawg cape right about now!)

I came over and stood on the pillows.

Dad STARED- he wanted to yell at me, I could tell- I am NOT allowed on the puillows... (but the CATS are... hrmf) and suddenly he grasped what I 'meant'... When I stuck my nose under the covers like the cats do, and I pushed... he got the message!! (yay!!!!) he lifted the blanket, and I slooooopped right on into the sleeping bag, and FLOPPED down, all curled up against him very tightly, licking his hurt hand very gently.

Dad was so startled, he even sniffle-cried a tiny bit. I did the right thing! I knew then, he needed this, but I didn't have WORDS, I had to use actions!!

He laid there only a little while, with us both in the sleeping bag, and then he fell asleep!!

YAY!!!!

No sound machine, no cats, just SUPER-BERTHA!! YAY!!!

He slept a whole two HOURS for me, while I cuddled him and snuggled him, and he was really really surprised, when he woke up, that I stayed right beside him all snuggled tight against him.

He told me what a GOOD DOG I was, and how I did a GOOD JOB, and those are the words I like to hear most... I love to learn new 'tasks' or how to use old ones like this to a new purpose, and I am SO HAPPY... I am all watching him now, just in case he needs a NAP later... (muhahahaha)

He promised to share his lunch with me today, and I love that- I hope he will bring me back something yummy from dinner, too... I like when he goes out- usually I am with him, but not for this kind of dinner- so he will probably bring me back something REALLY yummy... maybe some garliky bread!! YUMMY!!

Hmmmm. I wonder what's for lunch.

Big Bertha

New Layout!!

2006-12-13T01:36:48Z

I have a NEW layout!!

Yay for Big Bertha!!

I is staring at the screen right now, watching Dad type... but he is too stupid to realize what I am SAYING...

He said they are about to walk over to the grochery store... and I want him to bring ME back something. Silly humans.

If you don't already participate, I want to tell you about a community: holiday_wishes!

Dad has filled dozens of wishes, and I have already gotten so many presents... I had a wishlist of my OWN:

http://community.livejournal.com/holiday_wishes/784527.html?view=11048591#t11048591

Dad says it feels very good to fill the holiday wishes of other peoples, and I agree- it means more time sitting by Dad while he makes up the packages... and it means more PAINTING TIME for ME because he is sending some of my paintings, too!!! YAY!

I GOTS PRESENTS!!!

2006-12-13T00:38:53Z

I GOTS PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE!!!

I have discovered this, when sniffing about as Dad and Pa sort boxes, and bring things home from the mailbox, and suddenly... they wrapped some things while I was asleep on the bed... and now there are THINGS under the Tree!!!

SMELLY-GOOD Things!!!

One of them smells SO good, I keep sniffing it, and then searching the house... Dad says I must have an amzing nose to smell into an unopened package, and he says someone from far away sent it to me from my holiday_wishes post!!

(I know it is something VERY Yummy... the boxes that came, they came from sitstay.com, and they always include a tiny 'tester' baggie of a treat, and I got the treats when they came... so I KNOW the boxes were for MEeeee... and now there's PRESENTS too?? WOW!!)

It has been a good good thing to find, because my house is very in an uproar this week!

Dad and Pa have been making lots and lots of calls to peoples called "horse rescues" and "animal control" and "police"... and they have come home muddy and wet and smelling like the horse all freaked out- and Dad has been especially upset, allllllll day long. When Pa comes home from work, he is upset too, and nobody was sleeping very good untill last night...

WOW did they sleep good last night!!

They tell me this is because that 'horse' thing that i am jealous of is in a new stable! I am VERY glad...

The last couple times that I was with them and they went to see the horse (I sit in the van or stand by the gate and watch) the horse was bleeding all over, and Dad and Pa were VERY upset... and then the VET came, and then... it was scary... When we came back a few days later, the man who owned that pasture was screaming and yelling at Dad and Pa, and the person who was with them to come get the horse and take her to a new place... and he was saying such SCARY things, I crawled onto the floorboards opf the van and tries to squish myself under the seat.

I was shaking when Dad and Pa finally left... and *I* was upset about it all for a day or two!! I didn't want bad things to happen, but I am not your protection kind of rottie. Sowwy Dad.

So I guess there was LOTS of scary things, but I have to guess because Dad did not take me after that....

And last night, Dad and Pa were so HAPPY they celebrated all night with hugs and laughs and even some happy crying, and calls to all KINDS of people who had helped!! They said they are having a "our horse is alive and safe" party.

eek. It must have been REALLY scary!

I don't care though... because I am a jealous soul, and when I used to see them put a headstall on her (like my gentle leader!) and a bareback pad or saddle (like my cape!) and ride her? I would sit in Dad's chair and honk the van horn. I was all like, "DAD! You can NOT replace me with a Service HORSE!! No! Bad Dad!!! Get off that horse Now!!!"

I like her, and she likes me, but I am jealous- and my jealous soul is very VERY happy that there is only ONE kitty present (even if Dad says it's a REALLY nice one, and they will all share it happily) but there are THREE presents for MEEEEeeeee!!

YAY for me!!

YAY for Big Bertha!!

I have PRESENTS!!!

Dad says to say 'thank you' to all the people who sent things- especially since it will mean I will get my new cape and I have all the new patches now, and I will look MUCH better when I am out with him now! We will be going to movies again soon, and I will be happy to look spiffier! You will all be getting 'thank you' paintings in the mail very very soon! I have to wait for Dad to wrap and ship them... I don't got thumbs.

SNOW! SNOW!! SNOW!!! SNOOOWWWW!!!

2006-11-29T21:55:51Z

I have a yard,
my very own yard.
I have a yard,
and it's covered in SNOW!!!

I am one HAPPY girl right now... I have so many MANY things to be happy about this year!!

We have a NEW house!! (Dad says it's now quite as cool as owning, but I don't know the difference between owning and renting- I just know the difference between a house and an apartment!)

Did I mention I have a YARD???

*dance of rottie joy*

I also have my very own doorbell! It has two parts- one hangs on the wall, and one is a paw-shaped button on the floor... I step on it, and it ding-dongs loudly, and Dad or Pa know to come let me OUT!

INTO MY YARD!!!!!

*more happy dancing*

I have been FULL of rottie-joy for days and days now.

I am unaware of Dad and Pa having moving troubles because of the snow, because all *I* care about is that there is something yummy in the crockpot (which I am sure to get a bite of!) and the new house is warm, and even if they ARE sleeping on an inflateable mattress till the snow lets them move their real bed in, *I* am sleeping NEXT to them!!

YAY!!

Now, all I have to do, is figure out how to convince Dad it's not THAT cold... come outside and play in the snow!!

It tastes YUMMY!

...um... 'cept the coloured kind in my potty-spots. Leave the snow there alone.

Yeah.

BIG Bertha

My YARD!

2006-11-18T08:26:22Z

I love my Yard... oh oh oh, you would LOVE my Yard too!!

It's like a dog park.

Only BETTER!

My Yard has a TALL fence, and it's own tree, and some bushes in big planters. It has a tall Shed I can walk all the way around (or hide behind! muhahahahah!) and it has a porch I can lay on to be out of the rain but in the sun!!

There is a brick space, and a concrete space, and a 'beauty bark' space... and some patchy grass Dad SWEARS he will re-seed right away! (The last peoples here had turned the yard into a landfill almost! I am so glad it is more like a park now!)

I have so many surfaces to sniff and walk on, and... well. Yes. I haven't got a potty-corner yet, but I will! Dad plans to put up a fence that is super-short, so I know that is where to do my bizziness. I can piddle anyplace, he says, but well... I have to stop doin' the big stuff near the walkway. He doesn't want to have it smell bad, even tho he scoops anyway.

You know what ELSE I have?

AUGH! AUGH!!

I have NOSY Nosy HOUSEGUESTS!!!!

I do not like them.

One day, while we were moving, I heard a very demanding 'Meow! meow!' and soft little paws on the window by the door.

Our kitties were still at the apartment, so I looked to see who it was, coming to say hello.

It was a pretty calico girl-kitty, who was VERY sweet- and VERY surprised to see me!

Dad opened the door, and she started to come in!!

I got very surprised! I sat RIGHT up like, WAIT! We already HAVE three of those!! no Moooore!!

She sat upright like "ew. what is THAT in your house?"

She walked away, VERY snottily.

Hrmf.

Later on, the same thing happened!!

I went to the window, but guess what???

It was a GINGER coloured BOY kitty!!!

Dad went to the door, and opened it, and he came INSIDE!!!

I jumped around, all panicy, trying to tell Dad that he was NOT one of our kitties, and NOW what??

(Dad says he suspects that I secretly hopes the kitties were not coming with us, since the litterbox and cat tree have not been moved yet... but... no. he says they will come soon.)

I bounced around, and he didn't CARE!! That silly kitty just looked at me like 'Ha. I can come and go as I please!'

But Dad showed HIM!

He put him right back outside again.

Hrmf!

I wenty outside too- I wanted to SEE who this kitty was.

Do you know what that kitty did??

He went through MY planter, and through MY fence... and he meowed at me from a hole too TINY for me!!! aaaauagh!!!

I would like to lodge a complaint.

I need a sign. 'three cat limit'.

Hrmf.

I also would like Dad NOT to hang up the 'squirrel feeder' he is talking about putting on MY tree... there are two squirrels and a VERY fat raccoon already in my Yard. I am jealous.

Squirrels and Raccoons eat PEANUTS!

I LOVE Peanuts!!!

I am going to have to figure out how to enslave them...

...so they will open the feeder and get peanuts out for me.

Hmmmmmmm

Big Bertha

Yay for Cockapoos!

2006-11-08T17:44:13Z

I would like to open today, with a song... (you know, I have many songs- my Dad and Pa both sing to me, silly songs that make me get all waggy-butt and HAPPY...) This one is to the seseme-street song "C is for Cookie"....

B is for Bertha, My breakfast is yummeeee...
B is for Bertha, and then I gots to Pee...
B is for Bertha, I Really am a Queen...
Oh, Bertha, Bertha, Bertha starts with B!

B is for Bertha, I want a cookie...
B is for Bertha, so give it right to meeee...
B is for Bertha, I'll even take a Jelly Bean...
Oh, Bertha, Bertha, Bertha starts with B!

It changes, of course... depending on the topic of the week.

This week's topic, is how I deserve more treats- *cough* I mean, Things I will miss when we Move:

1) The little cockapoo who is old, and is my FRIEND.

We go Pee at the same time sometimes, in the morning... When we meet, she waggles her whole body, and I waggle MY whole body, and we both waggle out tail-stumps, and then she lays on her side and rolls her belly to me. I sniff her, and then *I* lay down and roll ALL in the grass like I was trying to make snow-angels in the clover instead... and she dances ALL around me! yay! yay! yay!

Yay for cockapoos who are black like me, and don't BITE! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Ele-lat-tors are Tricksies things.

2006-11-06T16:12:18Z

We been working more again- Dad has realized that he isn't always taking me IN places, when he could... and I made my opinions pretty clear, that I want to go WITH... not just wait in the car. duh, Dad!

Yesterday we parked in a BIG parking lot, lots of stories tall... and we took a BIG ele-lat-tor... it had TWO doors, like that tricky one at the movie theatre, except it was BIG. Everything was BIG. I was very excited, because Pa said we were looking for 'something'... and that meant I could help find it, right? Right? (nevermind I didn't know what the something was... I wanna HELP!)

We found it (it was a stoopid computer game add-on... DARN. At least I get to lay by Pa while he plays them... and at least Dad didn't put it on his computer... yet. Have I mentioned I am jealous of the computers?)... and I felt very useful, leading Dad around, and listening to 'left' and 'right' and 'forward' and all the sits and go's and stuff...

Then we paid, and we went outside, and we got in the ele-lat-tor....

When the doors opened, it looked right. We went out, and around the corner, and *GASP*

While we were in the store, the construction people must have come!! There wasn't ONE handicapped spot with our car, there was THREE with NO cars!!!

I was very distressed. I knew those tricksy-badses-nasties construction people from home had been there! I just KNEW it! I wanted to boof!! I made a soft sound like, 'hey!' and I looked to Dad and Pa... they looked confused, and said something about OH, there is a 1-A floor... and a 1... and a 1-B...

Who designed that??? (those bad nasty construction men, I bet!)

We got back IN the ele-lat-tor, and went up one (one half? one third?) of a level, and I PEEKED around the corner... *peek peek*

YAY!!

I did a happy dance.

The Car was back! yay! the car was back!!

There was another stupid person who had parked next to us though. (did I mention there was only one handicapped spot right there? Yes, let me mention that again. It was ONE spot, with extra room to get in and out) ...and Dad was VERY annoyed. He couldn't hardly get IN his car!!

There was a Lady inside it, in the passenger seat, and she SMILED, like her car had a special plate like ours (it didn't) or a hangy-thing (it didn't) or that there was a driver (there wasn't).... and Dad had to say 'EXCUSE ME!' twice... and even then she just SMILED...

Dad almost couldn't get in his car. He said something about signing up for a program where he can issue tickets, if they have one in the city we're moving to... because he would have given them one.

I dunno what kind of ticket he would give them... the only tickets *I* ever get are the ones they let me give them to get into the MOVIES!! YAY!!

We didn't go to the movies, though. *sniffle*

Darn.

We did get out of the spot though... Pa said we should have taken her door off... Dad chuckled, I think he was tempted. I would be!

We went home, and Pa played his game, and Dad slept a lot, cause he's been feeling tired. It was a good day, even if those Ele-lat-tors DID try to trick us... that's a bad naughty trick... and I am STILL not sure that the construction men didn't do it. They been changing so much around our apartment complex... you never know.

OH! I almost forgot.

Dad needs educating.

Yes. Edu-ma-cate-ing! He forgets that I only know so many WORDS... and he just figured out one of my many problems these past few weeks...

See, he keeps trying to 'prepare' me for moving- we are moving to a new house!! It will still be rented, but it will be a real HOUSE!! With a YARD.... ...except Dad keeps telling me things like, "Are you ready to get a new house?" or "you will LOVE your new house..."

He forgets, I think "house" means my doggie crate/bed.... uhm.

So everytime he said that, I was thinking... I'm getting a new BED? Where will I OLD one go? Where will I SLEEP if it's "OUR" new house??

And he wondered whyfor I was looking so /nervous/ everytime he talked about it. UGH!

I can't look forward to moving, if I don't know what it MEANS.

Duh Dad...

He's always makin' me worry about SOMETHING. urrr.