Today, I went out into the yard to wait for Pa to come home.

I heard a car.

I heard someone get out of the car.

I heard the gate.

I smelled Pizza!

PIZZA GUY!!!

I was already excited... then I SAW!!!

THE PIZZA GUY WAS PA!!!

Pa's home! He brought PIZZA from work!!

OH pizza pizza pizza...

How I love thee.

I would count the ways, but I am too busy counting how many slices are going onto Dad's plate.

He's dieting you know.

I think he only needs three of those slices.

Maybe two.

I will eat the others.

I can take this hit for the family's betterment, you know.

I will take the hit for Dad.

And Pa.

How many slices could fit in my bowl, do you think??

I do not get to find out. :(

But I DO get a slice all to myself!!

PIZZA!!

Behold, I have invented the pizza-dance.

I thought I would post some links, for those who wanted to know stuff! They're behind the cut, so it doesn't spam yer friends list- links to things like my Dogster page, and the place that sells my favourite equipment!

Don't forget to go get YOUR pup (or kitty) their free Greenies (or greenies kitty treats)! They're nom-i-licious!

( yay! )

It is that time again. I has to get new gear. :P

Every now and again, my stuff wears out. I gots to buy it new sometimes.

I needs a new vest, like in my picture up there- Dad is going to raise some money for it, by posting here, and putting things up on ebay or etsy. (he will crosspost to his blog too, of course!)

One of the things Dad can sell to fund my new vest, is MY PAINTINGS!! (YAY!)

You can read all about how I make the paintings here on my blog- and see some examples. They're not so fancy, but they often depict real things I have seen or experienced, even tho I am just a DAWG. It's abstract, cause I gots no THUMBS. (I am just a dawg, peeps!)

Another thing Dad will be putting up for sale, are some MINI-BERTHA's!! They will be small rottie stuffies with their own little service dog gear!! YAY!!

If you are interested in those things- keep your eyes peeled. I will post them, and so will Dad!

Dad is wondering about a NEW artform, too... t-shirts, by Bertha!

He figures, if I can paint on a flat canvas, why not on a t-shirt with a board under it to keep it stiff? If he used fabric-paint, it would look really abstract and COOL... and it would be really neat looking, if the fabric wrinkled up while I painted... wow. He will have to try that this weekend, I think.

A t-shirt would cost less if he buys them at the local discount shop- they're often sold in bulk that way, and he can buy BIG sizes, cause anyone can wear a fluppy oversized shirt, right?

What does you guys think?

They tells me that I never POST no more... So I am makin' dad give you an UPDATE!!!

I have been semi-retired, b'cause my poor knees are bad, and I am gettin' a little old now... but I do not LIKE bein' semi-retired!! I'm very unhappy with that. (fretfretfret)

This week, something very exciting happened.

I got to WORKIES!!!

Not just the 'go with dad to the movies' kind of work, either!

Dad went into the hospital, and had SURGERY!

Yah!

I'm not happy about that part.

While Dad was gone, Pa says I cried and cried... I waited... because Dad should come HOME... but he did not. I acted like I knew, something was NOT right.

I was so very unhappy.

Then... DAD CAME HOME!!!

At first, I was SO happy!

Then I smelled him... oh my goodness. he had been to the /hospital/!! he had owies!!

I was BERFA-IN-ACTION!!

I changed my WHOLE routine.

I was WORKIN!!!

I would lay at the FOOT of the bed... so Dad could not get up without me /helpin'/ him. (I am trained to let him use my shoulders to help! he was SO owie!)

I would not let him go to the bathroom without bertha-supervision... just in case he needed anything, you know. (hey, can YOUR dawggie fetch toilet paper if YOU'RE out? heh heh heh)

I walked with him /everywhere/ he went... hold onto me, Dad! hold onto me!!

the other night, Dad was fussing in his sleep. he was owie!! I could smell it, and he was groaning a little... owie!!

I started pacing my bed, like i had to go outside or something- and Dad woke up. Pa too.

They thought I was being all 'I want out at 2am!'... but when Pa tried to take me out, I RAN for the living room!!

I danced and danced in front of the medicine!! Silly Pa!! Dad is OWIE!! bring medicine! bring medicine!!

Dad looked, and it was only a FEW MINUTES before he was supposed to take his medicine!!

Haw haw haw.

I is WORKIN' Girl Berfala!!

My life can't get much better, can it?

YAY!!

I wanted to share these pics with my good friend benkenobigal, who sent me an AWESOME holiday package!

This is me, wif my lamiedoodle and my new bandanna on!



Mmmm... lamiedoodle makes my MOUWF happy!



I will post more pictures soon- Dad is trying to sneak video of me playing with my new lamiedoodle, because I yodel and sing to it, which is very funny... but whenever he turns on the camera, or clicks the 'start filming' button, I look up, and stop. (heh heh heh...) I think I am driving him nuts. >:)

I gots mail!! I gots mail!!

I gots mail, Just for Meeee!! (it even said "Big Bertha" on the label! Yay!)

Pa brought it home, and Dad opened it up, and I was all waggy-butt curious...

...and OUT popped a lamiedoodle!!

My ears went WOOOOP into the air! My stumpy-tail WAG-wag-WAGGED...

Pa took it to cut the label off, and I JUMPED in the air, and SLOOOPH! ....Pa was only holding a tag.

Haw haw!

All your lamiedoodles are belong to ME!

Haw haw!!

Dad reached into my mail again, and he pulled out a box.

What what what?? My nose squished against it- sniffing... lamiedoodle got in the way, but it was MY lamiedoodle now, so it would have to stay.

"It's BAN-DANNAS!" Dad and Pa both cheered!

Oh! Oh oh oh!! I bounced! I want a clean bandanna on! I want one!! I sat and pointed my nose, so that I could have one. *I* knows the value of a clean bandanna! It makes a girl very pretty, you know!

But wait... there was MORE!! ...Dad pulled out a Bag of GREEEEEENIES!!!

I Danced! I danced more! I SANG to lamiedoodle, who was in my MOUF and felt so GOOoooood!

Dad said, "You can have one of these later!" and I made a face. Bleah. I hate that word. 'later'. hrmf.

So I ran to my favourite spot and FLOMPHED down....

....and I spent the evening singing to my lamiedoodle. yodel yodel yodel... happy mouwf! happy lamiedoodle!

I WUVS you, benkenobigal!!!

This is just a little note, in case you do not belong to the holiday_wishes community already... I have a post there, that shows you all the neat things I wish for this holiday!

http://community.livejournal.com/holiday_wishes/1088152.html

I have met so many people through this community, I am hoping for even more friends this year! If you would like to join it, you can post YOUR wishes too, and grant all kinds of fun things to others as well! You should go look. It's good stuff.

...but then, you already KNEW I was a silly dawg, right?

Well if you didn't, here is another example of how my clever mind works:

Yesterday, Dad noticed I spent all day on PA'S side of the bed.

I laid my head on HIS pillow... I stayed on HIS side (and ONLY his!) and I curled up with my paws wrapped up in HIS side of the blanket...

Dad thought, 'how cute! she misses him today!'.

But I had a secret.

I had turned on the 'lectric blankie again... BOTH sides.

and Dad's was only set to 2... but PA'S was set to 5!

I was on HIS side, cause it was the warmest.

Heh.

I know. I need to figure out how to work that dial thingy, to make it the temperature *I* want it to be. hrmf. I am not quite THAT talented! (insert fowney face here, dad!)

I want this, for the holidays:

http://petmallamerica.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=3592

An electric dog bed!! YAY!!!

WOW would that be great.

Santa... pwease? I will be SUCH a good dawg! I promise!

Tonight, Pa made PIZZA!!

Yummy yum yum yum...

He took it out of the oven.

It was all melty-cheesy-goodness *DROOL*

He said, "come on in and get some... it's ready!"

Dad got up from his computer to come get PIZZA...

I was already sitting behind Pa, with a paper plate in my mouwf.

I was in line for pizza.

No... REALLY! I thought, if I picked up the plate...
*shifty eyes*
.../I/ could take it to Dad...

Right?

RIGHT???

no?

Didn't work for me either.

Darn.

We is having a War over the electric blanket, you know.

I loves it.

I REALLY loves it.

Last night, Dad and Pa said there is not enough room for them and me, alllll night long, on the bed. (it is only a double, they remind me, and you is BIG dawg!)

Hrmf.

Dad said, "okay Bertha... get off the bed... House. Go in your house. Okay, Ni Ni... go sleep, Ni Ni, Bertha... good girl..."

I was sooooooo saaaaad. I tried everything. The big brown eyes... the pouty face...

But Dad said he wanted a few hours of sleep without me on his legs, or without me squishing him into a sandwich. (he is not lunchmeat, I suppose...)

So I would get off him, off the bed, and lay down in my bed- which to be fair is BESIDE the futon mattress, so I could STILL share the warmies by leaning on them... but it's just not the same, ya know?

So I would wait.

When he started to snore, I would CREEP back up (because I is only a tiny wilting flower of a girl, doncha know!) and I would SNEAK onto the bed (how could they even notice me taking up such a tiny Bertha-space?) and I would CURL into the blankies, and snuggle them tight.

OH. Yes. I like to curl myself into the blankie... that could be part of it.

Pa whined, "I'm naked... the DOG took my side of the blanket!!"

Dad said, "off the bed, Bertha... go house, go nini!"

I slunk into my house.

When he snored, I snuck back... I CREPT onto the bed again, and wedged myself between Dad and the wall... surely, this mere SLIVER of a space was safe for me, the TINY sliver of a Bertha??

Dad snored.

Yay!

Then he said, "Ber...Tha...." oh noes. He is sleep-talking. "Go... ho...ouse.... ni... ni..." SNORE.

I SIGHED.

Pa giggled.

Dad grumbled.

Then he says, the bed moved... and Pa pulled up the covers to keep from having them stolen...

Then I snuck onto PA's side.

Heh. I is nothing if not SMART girl. ;)

Bertha 10, Dad/Pa 1.

Still plotting the ultimate posession of the electric blankie... if only I could make the PLUG work, when they're not sleeping in it... Darn.